Find your soul mate

To find your soul mate takes a bit of time. The mistake we make is trying to turn someone into our soul mate. There are different changes to make depending on each persons habits, underlying or inherited beliefs and expectations.

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So if you are looking to meet your soul mate you first need to be a soul mate. This means you need to be prepared to make a change that will increase your value to someone else. You must decide you are worthy of a soul mate. There are steps to take that will help do this.

Ok so you must become a problem free person. I don’t mean you should not have problems, you should but you should be solution driven. There is much more to know about this and do. It is not difficult, it just takes practice.

Everyone is special in their own right and deserves to be happy. It’s a right not a privilege. Trouble is we tend to settle for mediocrity.

So you met him on a dating site. Chatted for a while on email. Decided to meet him. Went on a few dates. You spent time together and it just felt right. He told you it’s like he has known you a long time. He said you are so beautiful. He was so attentive and nice to you. You let your guard down and slept with him and you haven’t heard anything since. He got what he wanted, the dirty little man.

So what happened? What made him disappear? Can you regain his attention? Yes you can if you do the right things.

Contact Fiona and arrange a session with Mordecai.

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How to fall in love – part one

Hi Fiona,

Your client’s question is interesting. Let’s deal with some of the steps to falling love. It is interesting to me how little we have really evolved when it comes to falling in love. Oh, sure we select a mate based on currant day requirements but the basics haven’t changed much at all. They have become a little confused in some cases. But as we can see this seems to be a popular question.

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Let’s assume they have never met before. She is out with a few friends, enjoying a few drinks and conversation at a bar somewhere and he is doing the same. He is sitting across the room from her. Like her, he is scanning the room to see if there is a possible lady he might find the courage to go and talk to. She is also scanning the room to see if there is a possible man to encourage to come over and talk to her. Let’s call him Jack and her name is Jill. No, they didn’t walk up a hill.

Anyway. Jack notices Jill and finds her physically attractive. Jill has the right body ratio that is a subconscious signal she is fertile and Jack picks up on that in a way that his eyes open wide and his mouth drops open for a second. Jill just happens to look at him as this takes place. Jack feels a little foolish and smiles a sheepish smile of embarrassment. Jill finds him attractive and smiles back. It is a full smile. Her eyes smile too and she shows her white teeth. Her lips have colour enhancer on them and seem fuller. She looks away. Jack looks away. Jill refolds her legs showing the length of them to Jack and tilts her head so her neck is also visible.  Great body language Jill, you now have Jacks attention as he has looked at you two or three times quickly. Jill knows this as she can see him out the corner of her eye.

Now Jack is looking at Jill with interest for longer periods of time and Jill turns slowly and gives him her very special smile that causes a dopamine reaction. He feels good and now has some courage to get up and suck in his stomach, put his shoulders back and head held up high with his back straight, he turns to his friends to excuse himself and they all turn to look at his target. Jack walks over to Jill and opens with an ice breaker that doesn’t send cold shivers down Jill’s spine. I would hope he introduces himself instead of some childish pick up line that make most women groan in desperation.

They chat and posture, and she will remember his status, career path, income potential and sense of stability more so than his build. The more she sees him the more handsome he will become. The more he sees her the more beautiful she will become. Now for the two clinching moments. Both will smell each other without being obvious. Jack will lean into say something as Jill said “I can’t hear you”. She is very responsive to his smell as he is to hers. Perfume tries very hard to emulate this and mostly fails. It just hides awful odors instead. If they like each other’s body smell, they are nearly there.

One more hurdle. Like attracts like. People like people who like them back. 15% variation in habits, thinking and values is just perfect. If this is the case then Oxytocin and Vasopressin chemicals are released into their systems and they feel good. There is a sense of security and trust. A special friendship begins to develop with a strong element of attraction thrown into the mix. They now start to see each other often and a deeper-than-friends relationship develops. After some time, they sleep together and the die is cast.

How this will end is anyone’s guess. If Jack and Jill don’t develop their relationship into a competitive struggle after the honeymoon phase they will survive.

Next time lets look at why the power struggle.

Be kind to yourself.

Regards,

Mordecai

How to be successful?

This is a huge topic, Fiona. There are so many books written on this subject. There are many people who are very successful just selling their ideas on this subject. There is of course an answer to this question.

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Lets first define what it means to be successful. Success is related to what you think success is. Contentment with very little material gains is success. Huge wealth is also determined as success. In all societies, wealth and the accumulation of wealth causes one to rise up the totem pole. Sadly, most people believe they are not able to accumulate wealth or believe they don’t deserve it for one reason or another.

I believe it was Mr. H. Ford who said: “If you believe you can you are right. If you believe you can’t you are right”.

Our education system is designed to accommodate the average learning skill set so that most of our children get an education. Those on the fringes will need to get extra curriculum teaching to further their abilities. A reward and punishment system is in place. Study hard, pass the exams and you can move on to the next year. If you don’t or can’t do this you are punished by being kept back a year in the hope you will then learn your lesson and pass the exams.

Work life perpetuates this idea. Work hard and get promotion or a pay rise. Institutions also do this. In most countries the governments need to control the population is one way or another so that they can govern. For example the reward for paying taxes and working hard is a contribution to medical expenses by the government. Or social security and other benefits we take for granted until you stop paying taxes and become a burden to the state. New rules apply and the state will help you to get back on your feet so long as you adhere to the rules.

What’s the answer you ask. It is really quite simple. Knowledge is key. Entrepreneurs learn to serve well. They look for the pain perceived by others and find better ways to relieve the pain. Technology is doing this in leaps and bounds. Others who use their intelligence to create wealth work in companies or corporations. Then there are the protected skills like medicine, legal and engineering. Others work with their hands.

All of these things need knowledge. Good knowledge, in depth knowledge. This means you need to get what you need to do your job well. You need to like your chosen profession a lot. You need to be interested in it enough to want to keep acquiring knowledge about your subject through reading as much as you can.

The formula is “one to the power of one”. This means stick to what you know. You hold the key to your success so long as you believe what you are doing is the best way you can help others. Take it as far as you can. A lot of people aim for mediocracy and achieve that with great accuracy. Be curious about everything and explore other interests too but always make your love of your subject your main focus year after year. People will in time get to know you are an expert on your subject. Even if you move from company to company stay in the same line of work. You will get to the top of the heap or you will go out on your own as an entrepreneur and solve other people problems that fall within your expertise.

— Mordecai

You are just clicks away from MasterMind sessions for entrepreneurs with Mordecai the Mentalist. He will teach you how to tap into your wealth! Be sure to register if you haven’t yet – places are limited.

Meet and keep him

I have been often asked: “How many dates do I need to go on with the same guy before I can sleep with him and he won’t disappear afterwards?” This is a good question. In today’s world there are so many different schools of thought on this subject. A one-night stand, using him to fill a need of desirability, lust and falling in love. As well as all the grey areas in between.

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“I created a profile on a dating site and got so many replies. I felt really desirable again. Maybe it’s true I am more beautiful then I thought. I read the replies to my profile. Gosh so many of them are so direct. Some even outright rude. Oh no I must have written something wrong to give the impression I am looking for a one-night stand. I don’t want them to think I am desperate because I am not. I am just lonely and time is running away from me. Soon I will be too old for any one to want me. I want a family and a home and a partner that will love and worship me. Where have all the good men gone? Surely, they can’t all be taken already.”

Leslie pondered her dilemma and decided to reply to some of the more serious replies she received. There were some who actually wrote some interesting things and gave the impression they too were looking for a more serious relationship. She received responses and decided nothing ventured nothing gained. Dates were arranged and meetings on neutral ground took place. She chose places to meet where the owners or barmen knew her by sight. She had very pleasant conversations and the gentlemen were very attentive. Out of the five dates she narrowed her selection down to three and arrange a second date with them. One of them was very handsome and very interesting. He paid her so much attention, listened to her every word and agreed to most of her ideas about relationships. He even said he thought marriage was a noble institution. He was looking forward to getting married and starting a family of his own. He has a good job in computers and he was even a little shy. They went home together to her place and spent a passionate evening and a wonderful breakfast. He promised to call her later that day. She is still waiting for his call. What happened?

Of course, there can be a multitude of reasons. It is important to note that it is not her fault or short comings. Some people re just not able to be honest about their real wants and spin the story instead to feel better. We all do this. So, let’s look rather at what Leslie could do better next time she meets someone she really likes.

We are all taught that success comes with hard work. Time brings its own rewards. Instant gratification brings a reward that is not on going or sustainable. Delayed gratification brings a sustainable reward and is a repeatable action. In short when Leslie has found someone and she is funny and interesting he will try to impress her and show her his interest by trying to make her quality of life a little better. She must cause him to keep showing her for at least six to nine weeks. He must be in touch with her almost daily. She must flirt and tease but not deliver. He must feel like a hero to her and the only hero in her life. Just the same Leslie needs to know she is the only one he wants. The promise of sex is a strong pull and once he is committed to getting her, chances are, he will stay. After nine weeks she will become a part of him. Sex will be so wonderful at this time as it will be a completion and not a beginning.

Hang in there, girls. Let him work and commit himself first before giving up the honey. Or be honest and just take what you want out of lust and say that that is all you want.

There is much more to this story and things to understand about how relationships work. Still we all seem to manage. Ask Fiona for more info.  Be kind to yourselves.

Regards,

Mordecia

Feeling overwhelmed?

Dear,

Let’s start by saying that feeling overwhelmed is a form of anxiety. Perhaps it is the base form of anxiety. This feeling is not gender driven. It happens to all of us. Men seem to exhibit it less than women because men have an advantage when it comes to feeling overwhelmed. Men have a nothing segment in their brain where they can go and do nothing there. No real thought takes place. Women on the other hand don’t have a nothing room. Women’s brains are busy all the time.

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Feeling overwhelmed is when your duties and demands as well as environment become too much to cope with. We tend to judge ourselves too harshly. We create the wrong expectations of how things should be. We even have strong negative dialogue with ourselves. We look for attention or help based on negative communication both verbal and nonverbal.

Happy people never have a feeling of being overwhelmed. That is until you meet a sad clown underneath the happy face.

If we don’t achieve a deadline on time life will end as we know it. Our reputation will be destroyed forever. If we don’t feed our children at certain times or put the little ones to bed at a certain time, or clean the house to look like it’s a museum, or so many other things including work pressures, earning needs, and yes even survival needs then life will definitely end as we know it. We then have these wonderful negative conversations with ourselves and tell ourselves we are a failure at whatever it is.

You can’t really overcome feeling overwhelmed if you stay in a confusing environment where these feelings are generated. You need to get out and go for a walk or a run or go eat a cake with a nice cup of coffee. If you could just slow down a little and let the issue find you instead of you searching for the issue before it’s happened will help a lot.

If you could only enjoy the ride of anxiety and know that nothing will happen to you. You won’t get sick or die. If you could just write down each problem one by one and look at them as individual issues it will help. If you could only put the issues in a list form and then arrange them in order of priority and tackle them in order of priority it will help. Should you not make your committed deadline then you don’t make it. Your world won’t end. They will still love you.

Once you prioritize things into two categories, one being “I can do that quickly and solicit help in getting it done” and two “these issues will take some time”. Clear away the easy quick things. Don’t procrastinate anything. Get help where help is needed. Then get on with the things that take time to achieve. Household chores, if you can afford help get it. If your children eat at 18.30 instead of 18.00 nothing will happen to them. If you think sending repeated emails at 23.00 is important to your work-life balance then do that at that time having given attention to your loved ones first.

Set your priorities and let everyone involved know your choices, needs and desires. Be kind to yourself and learn to compromise and delegate.

Best regards,

Mordecia

If you are someone who feels like your life is oversaturated, you may want to consider taking a break. On the simplest level, this will free up thinking space. As you enjoy some quiet time and reconnect with your loved ones and your hobbies.

Do you want to find yourself available to revel in the small joys of your own life? Contact Fiona to set up a chat with Mordecai. He will help you develop more conscious relationships. This will also give you a greater sense of calm, balance, well-being, and a new perspective on life.

Misbehaviour or not?

Raising children is a full-time job. It is something we have to do every day. Sadly, our children don’t come with a user manual. Obviously every one of us is unique and our brains are wired in its own way and in a very common way to all of the same gender.

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So, what makes our kids behave badly? Is it really bad behaviour? So many theories. Some children might need assessments to determine if they have an issue that can be dealt with in a different way and with some professional help.

“My child does not seem to show empathy and is only interested in herself.  She is a teenager, fifteen going on sixteen. I know teenagers are difficult but is this type of behaviour normal and should I accept it as such? This is not about expressing independence. It looks to me like it is just selfishness or she is self-absorbed. No interest in other people. She does things as though she is the only one living in the house and everyone else is there as her servants. She can take a cup of tea to her room but doesn’t bring the cup back to the kitchen. After a while the cups in the kitchen become scarce. Asking her to bring the cup back results in temper tantrums and fights. My husband suggests we stop fighting and just move the kitchen into her room. Or move her bed into the kitchen. Of course, this is not possible. Is there a way I can teach her to participate and share in daily living without having to fight? Her friends tell stories of what they have to do at home, my angel doesn’t do anything like that. It is my fault, right?”

Sometimes old systems work best. Children need to know their boundaries. A structured system seems to work well. A line they can’t cross. Yet you must remain fair and firm on what rules you set in place. Everyone must be part of the system. There must not be separate rules for each family member. Parents are parents and children are children. When the line is crossed then rewards are taken away to be returned when earned.

The use of your voice is better than physical violence. By being flexible in rewards related to age and ability to be a part of the family and by doing chores to help will teach your child something about how to live as independent people later in their lives. By explaining in detail you can teach empathy and how to participate in communal living. By not explaining why and what your child did wrong they will just think if they do it again, they will be punished for doing it. But understanding why you are upset and hurt by their actions will help them learn empathy.

Most children like structure and discipline and will understand other people also have needs. At the same time don’t try to break your children’s spirit. Encourage them to excel but not at the expense of everyone they love.

Follow your instincts and don’t repeat the things your parents did to you. Break the chain.

— Mordecai

Talking to Mordecai the Mentalist can be your game changer AND you can end the year with big plans for 2019. Please contact Fiona, we would love to talk to you and experience a magic sharing session in global style.

A brief madness

This is for the men out there.

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A long time ago during the creation of women, her brain was wired a little differently to a man’s brain. Her physical appearance was, and still is, different, shorter, softer with protruding bits we love so much. In this way we could see from a distance if the approaching person was a man or a woman. She has bigger eyes, smaller hands and feet yet she has a strength men don’t have. She is designed for carrying weights of up to 20kg for long distances. Her brain is so fascinating that lots of studies have been done trying to understand how it works and we still don’t know.

Anyway back to my point. Her eyes are bigger. She has excellent peripheral vision. She as a cave person had to search for roots and seeds and berries and things to eat and at the same time watch and look after children. Because she is closer to the ground, she is designed to become smaller and closer to the things she is looking for. In the bush this is both an advantage of camouflage and with her excellent vision she can see a predator from a distance.

For example, we as men have tunnel vision. We stare directly at what we are looking at. She on the other hand can see your shoe laces while looking at your eyes. Her scanning ability is amazing and never turns off. Shopping is not only a therapy but is hard wired into her brain.

Now men go shopping in general to buy something. Women go shopping to buy something too, but while they are there, they look at everything. Men get dragged along to offer an opinion. Very dangerous situation. Men also get fed up with looking at everything in fifteen minutes and need a coffee to settle their nerves. A fight breaks out and the day is ruined.

So guys stop resisting. Join the madness and overload her with things to try on. Keep on bringing new things even things that don’t match or you know she doesn’t want. She will get fed up in fifteen minutes and need a coffee to calm her nerves. Win win.

— Mordecai

Mordecai the Mentalist has worked with many men – fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, friends, and boyfriends. They come from all backgrounds. Contact Fiona to share your stories of love, sexual longing, rejection, and heartbreak.