Let’s start by saying that feeling overwhelmed is a form of anxiety. Perhaps it is the base form of anxiety. This feeling is not gender driven. It happens to all of us. Men seem to exhibit it less than women because men have an advantage when it comes to feeling overwhelmed. Men have a nothing segment in their brain where they can go and do nothing there. No real thought takes place. Women on the other hand don’t have a nothing room. Women’s brains are busy all the time.
Feeling overwhelmed is when your duties and demands as well as environment become too much to cope with. We tend to judge ourselves too harshly. We create the wrong expectations of how things should be. We even have strong negative dialogue with ourselves. We look for attention or help based on negative communication both verbal and nonverbal.
Happy people never have a feeling of being overwhelmed. That is until you meet a sad clown underneath the happy face.
If we don’t achieve a deadline on time life will end as we know it. Our reputation will be destroyed forever. If we don’t feed our children at certain times or put the little ones to bed at a certain time, or clean the house to look like it’s a museum, or so many other things including work pressures, earning needs, and yes even survival needs then life will definitely end as we know it. We then have these wonderful negative conversations with ourselves and tell ourselves we are a failure at whatever it is.
You can’t really overcome feeling overwhelmed if you stay in a confusing environment where these feelings are generated. You need to get out and go for a walk or a run or go eat a cake with a nice cup of coffee. If you could just slow down a little and let the issue find you instead of you searching for the issue before it’s happened will help a lot.
If you could only enjoy the ride of anxiety and know that nothing will happen to you. You won’t get sick or die. If you could just write down each problem one by one and look at them as individual issues it will help. If you could only put the issues in a list form and then arrange them in order of priority and tackle them in order of priority it will help. Should you not make your committed deadline then you don’t make it. Your world won’t end. They will still love you.
Once you prioritize things into two categories, one being “I can do that quickly and solicit help in getting it done” and two “these issues will take some time”. Clear away the easy quick things. Don’t procrastinate anything. Get help where help is needed. Then get on with the things that take time to achieve. Household chores, if you can afford help get it. If your children eat at 18.30 instead of 18.00 nothing will happen to them. If you think sending repeated emails at 23.00 is important to your work-life balance then do that at that time having given attention to your loved ones first.
Set your priorities and let everyone involved know your choices, needs and desires. Be kind to yourself and learn to compromise and delegate.
If you are someone who feels like your life is oversaturated, you may want to consider taking a break. On the simplest level, this will free up thinking space. As you enjoy some quiet time and reconnect with your loved ones and your hobbies.
Do you want to find yourself available to revel in the small joys of your own life? Contact Fiona to set up a chat with Mordecai. He will help you develop more conscious relationships. This will also give you a greater sense of calm, balance, well-being, and a new perspective on life.